The most FORTUNATE thing happened to me last Friday. It was the most perfect learning experience and I could not pass it up. While I was busy minding my own business at home, a guy the looked just like Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite came to my house to try and sell me something.
…this is GOOD stuff.
I mean this is sooooo good I couldn’t make it up if I tried. In fact, I have been an idiot all weekend, because I couldn’t wait to share it with you today (I know that my fiancee will be happy that I am over it).
Ok, here’s the story:
There I was, just minding my own business, when a rusty Astro van pulls up in my driveway. A guy with aviator sunglasses and a bad tie was behind the wheel, but the magic didn’t happen until the rusty Astro door squeaked open to reveal a guy that looked just like Uncle Rico.
He was carrying something pink in his hand, throwing it up in the air and whistling as he came to the house.
My dog was going insane as my fiancee was trying to keep him from eating “the whistler” as I answered the door.
At first I couldn’t believe it. This guy looked and acted just like Uncle Rico-and in case you haven’t seen this movie, there are some critical sales lessons in there. You should rent it tonight!
Anyway, I open the door and Rico is standing there shoving a giant pink can of bathroom air freshener spray in my face.
The FIRST thing he told me was that he was trying to win a golf trip.
He then asks me if I would be interested in trying out the Utra Mega 9000 (name changed to protect the innocent), an “American Made” product… and just for looking at it, I would get this SWEET pink can of fart spray in return.
I handed the can back to him and sent him along his way. The entire transaction lasted no more than 30 seconds.
In hindsight, I wish I had let the guy give his demo, because I would have even more to share, but he was REAL creepy so I wasn’t about to let him in my house.
So what did we learn from Uncle Rico…how NOT to sell.
Here are a few tips on NOT selling, courtesy of “the man” himself:
1. The customer could give a rat’s behind if you are trying to win a contest, or anything about YOU. The customer wants to know what’s in it for them.
2. Your free gifts and mini-bribes have to be VALUABLE and RELEVANT to the person that you are talking to.
3. When you are announcing your USP to your customer, or even trying to break the ice with what you do, make sure that you don’t forget what it is you are selling and how if will benefit the customer. I still have no idea what that guy’s product did.
4. When you get a “NO,” make sure that you have a few follow-up answers to give the customer a few more chance to buy. Maybe you have not addressed all of their skepticism yet. Rico just turned around and got back in the van.
If you want to find out even more about how to close the sale much quicker, without really selling at all, check out this great guide to closing the sale.
NOW it’s your turn. I want to hear some of your crazy encounters with sales people that have really botched it up so bad that it made you laugh. Leave a comment below.
Until tomorrow,
Joshua Black
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{ 7 comments }
Well, headlines do sell…you had me on this one Joshua.
I love the “you can’t make this stuff up”. I’m actually sitting here laughing trying to envision this whole thing going down at your place.
I agree…I think it was good to get him out of there quick, but it sure would have been a good add-on story to hear about his sales pitch and call to action.
Hah.
Thanks for sharing!
Brandon
Thanks Brandon,
Yeah, I don’t know what rock these people crawled out from under. I kinda felt bad for the guy, but he had NO idea how to sell his way out of a paper bag… and that just provides more ammo for ME (mwahhhhh ha ha!)
-Josh
I do agree with Brandon, Joshua – the headline sold me.
I don’t have any funny sales people stories to share, but I am still trying to figure out whether your story was true? Door to door salesmanship – these days? Suicidal.
Great conclusion on how not to sell though. Most of these points are logical to you and me, yet it’s amazing how many people refuse to face it.
Thanks for your insights.
Best,
Ana Hoffman
PS Tommy DiPietro asked me to extend you an invitation to our private blog commenting group. After I visited your blog, I can see why. Great content!
So here’s the link for you to take a look at:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=300451417921
Ana, this one’s totally true. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.
-Josh
Great Story.
I would have loved to hear more. Of course who knows what could have happened if you let him in. I am sure it would have been interesting though.
Steve
In hindsight, I totally should have sat through his pitch… oh well, there will always be a next time.
Excellent advice on selling. However, don’t forget that every newbie seller can fall into the Uncle Rico trap.